hilarious sms - Funny sms

Kalu makes idlis 4 breakfast.
Wife: How did u manage 2 make such huge idlis?
Kalu: With the help of this special cloth.
Wife-U idiot give me my Bra back.

Sex - Burn Calories Chart
Lying down: 90cal
Standing up: 492cal
Doggie style: 326cal
2nd round: 824 cal
Dressing up after sex while spouse knocks at d door: 5000 cal

One agent was tensed.
Dealer: Kya hua?
Agent: Main 6 mahine se tour pe hoon, aur meri biwi pregnant ho gai.
Dealer: Ab pata chala bina order ke maal aaye to kaisa lagta hai...

Desk-top is what u do with the Secretary in the office;
Lap-top is what u do with the girlfriemd in the room;
Palm-top is when u r without them and alone

Judge: U r fined Rs 11420
Rapist: 11420 ??
Judge: 10000 for rape, 10.2% entertainment tax & 4% VAT

A Chinese man files for divorce
Judge: What's the reason?
Chinese: Me no come, she no come, baby come, how come
Judge: May be side income

Lady: I'm warning u, my hubby is coming back in half an hour.
Man: But I'm not doing anything.
Lady: That's why I'm warning u. Hurry up.